Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
