You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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