my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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