omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's shark week go big or go home
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
