Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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