You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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