I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
