You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize