Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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