Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
