I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
