i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize