it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
soo... how was my night?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
