Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
