You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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