i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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