remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.