You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
