The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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