Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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