2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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