Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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