sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
