I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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