ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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