Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
