U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
