no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
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