You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
