We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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