And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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