I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
