Porn is love you can see.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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