Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
foreskin is a definite game changer
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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