A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize