when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
50% drunk capacity currently
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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