she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Dear god my vagina.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
