i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
