I got chris browned last night
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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