just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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