guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
