This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
