I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.