everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....