Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?