I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
