she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
