just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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