he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize