Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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