Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
