bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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