Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
