last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
