my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
