I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Randomize
