dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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