he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
