Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
