I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
