Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
