what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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