I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
