My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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