ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize